My Story
It ends with me understanding that great parenting is a combination of art and science, that there are many ways to be a great parent.
Being a parent, studying parenting, and becoming a Certified Parent Coach® means I can share with you the collective wisdom of the most successful parents.
And here is what else I learned with as deep a conviction as I could possibly have - it comes from inside. We all have it in us. If you relate to my story, then we can work together, and I promise I can help bring it out in you, too.
Being a parent, studying parenting, and becoming a Certified Parent Coach® means I can share with you the collective wisdom of the most successful parents.
And here is what else I learned with as deep a conviction as I could possibly have - it comes from inside. We all have it in us. If you relate to my story, then we can work together, and I promise I can help bring it out in you, too.
Often Overwhelmed
So much of parenting is so important, and yet so much is completely out of our control. Who knew conceiving the second would take so much less time than conceiving the first? The joy – and the consequence – I’m now a mother of an 18-month-old and a newborn at the same time. There were many days I wanted to wave a white flag. Will I ever be able to more than just try to survive one day to the next? Is that all the better I am? But my kids deserve so much better!
I was exhausted. It was everything. I was trying to give two kids all the love, time and individual attention they deserve. I was trying to maintain the house to the same standard as when there were no kids. I was trying to prepare meals. My husband was gone all day working, and I didn’t want to “dump” the kids on him the second he walked in the door. Actually, I think I did. I just didn’t want to want that.
If I was barely able to hold myself together, how was I going to raise my kids to be independent productive members of society?
How do I balance wanting to give my kids all the love and attention they deserve while at the same time seeing their needs as a nearly constant interruption to anything else I am trying to get done? Aren’t I at least allowed to eat, too? Or take a shower? Or sit, for just a minute?
I had a supportive, loving husband, good friends, and family nearby who often did their best to give advice or listen. Still, it was not just a feeling, it was the truth. As a mother, I was alone.
I was exhausted. It was everything. I was trying to give two kids all the love, time and individual attention they deserve. I was trying to maintain the house to the same standard as when there were no kids. I was trying to prepare meals. My husband was gone all day working, and I didn’t want to “dump” the kids on him the second he walked in the door. Actually, I think I did. I just didn’t want to want that.
If I was barely able to hold myself together, how was I going to raise my kids to be independent productive members of society?
How do I balance wanting to give my kids all the love and attention they deserve while at the same time seeing their needs as a nearly constant interruption to anything else I am trying to get done? Aren’t I at least allowed to eat, too? Or take a shower? Or sit, for just a minute?
I had a supportive, loving husband, good friends, and family nearby who often did their best to give advice or listen. Still, it was not just a feeling, it was the truth. As a mother, I was alone.
It was never Craft Day. It was always Survival Day.
Yet I would look around and see what appeared to be so many successful moms raising wonderful children with little or no stress. What was I doing wrong? My kids argued. They didn't pick up their toys. They didn't always listen to me. It was nonsensical to ask if I had a craft planned for the day. Are you kidding? In this hurricane? Today is a survival day.
Turning the Tide – Understanding what being in control means
Parenting is hard work. Parenting can also be the most rewarding and fulfilling work. Sometimes being in control really means relinquishing control. Letting go of the unreasonable expectations that the house is clean all of the time. Accepting that I didn’t need to have daily crafts to make wonderful memories with my children. Understanding that a bond between a child and parent has everything to do with being together, present and engaged. Appreciating the importance of providing stability and structure for my children, as children find comfort and thrive when there is stability and structure.
When I first heard of self-care, my kids were very little. I literally laughed out loud at the concept that I was supposed to take time to do something for me. I am a mom! How can I possibly do something so selfish? My responsibility is to my family. As counter-intuitive as it is, self-care is SO important! When I learned to give myself permission to do things I enjoyed, with other adults, I allowed myself to have an identity outside of ‘mom’ or ‘wife’. I also found that afterwards I felt more refreshed, reinvigorated, and re-energized. It turns out self-care actually benefits my family just as much, if not more, than it benefits me.
Until my children became teenagers I kept thinking, "Wouldn't it be nice if there was someone I could talk to who would help me figure this out? Someone who could support me during this difficult time and help me craft some strategies that I could use going forward." Then I learned about parent coaching.
When you work with a parent coach, you have someone by your side on an incredibly rewarding journey to reclaiming your parenting confidence, improving the bond with your child(-ren), and rediscovering the joys and benefits of self-care.
When I first heard of self-care, my kids were very little. I literally laughed out loud at the concept that I was supposed to take time to do something for me. I am a mom! How can I possibly do something so selfish? My responsibility is to my family. As counter-intuitive as it is, self-care is SO important! When I learned to give myself permission to do things I enjoyed, with other adults, I allowed myself to have an identity outside of ‘mom’ or ‘wife’. I also found that afterwards I felt more refreshed, reinvigorated, and re-energized. It turns out self-care actually benefits my family just as much, if not more, than it benefits me.
Until my children became teenagers I kept thinking, "Wouldn't it be nice if there was someone I could talk to who would help me figure this out? Someone who could support me during this difficult time and help me craft some strategies that I could use going forward." Then I learned about parent coaching.
When you work with a parent coach, you have someone by your side on an incredibly rewarding journey to reclaiming your parenting confidence, improving the bond with your child(-ren), and rediscovering the joys and benefits of self-care.